Next time you wonder who to blame for global warming, just think of me. According to Australian senator Steve Fielding, my being divorced and living alone means I'm sending the planet to hell in a handbasket at an alarming rate.
"Staying married is better for the planet because divorce leads the newly single to live more wasteful lifestyles, an Australian lawmaker said Tuesday.
Senator Steve Fielding told a Senate hearing in the Australian capital Canberra that divorce only made climate change worse.
When couples separated, they needed more rooms, more electricity and more water. This increased their carbon footprint, Australian Associated Press (AAP) quoted Fielding as telling the hearing on environmental issues." Reuters
Well, I certainly had no idea I was living a "resources-inefficent lifestyle." If only I'd been aware of the damage I'm causing the world when I was going through my divorce. I guess you'll just have to add my bigger than it should be carbon footprint to the laundry list of things I'll have to answer for when the roll is called up yonder.
On the other hand, I would also say that being a single person you can live a more "resources-efficient lifestyle." For one thing, there's no constant battle between two people in the winter or summer over what the best temperature for the house is. And with only one person in the house, the instances of opening the fridge and aimlessly staring into it looking for something to eat are reduced. Or better yet--I don't have to open it up, look for what I want and then wonder out loud if the other person has eaten all the moose tracks ice cream. See, I'm saving the planet right there!
Of course, there was also the report that having more than two children also dangerously increases your carbon footprint. So it seems to me that the best thing to do is get married as soon as I can, have two kids and stop destroying the planet.
I can think of a lot of great reasons to get married. Unfortunately, none of them have to do with my "global footprint" or my "resource-inefficient lifestyle."
posted by Michael Hickerson at 2/26/2009 03:42:00 PM