No it's not going to win an Oscar for best picture and it's probably not going to be on any critics' top ten list come year's end.
In fact, if you're going to go and plunk down your hard earned cash to see Snakes on a Plane
, you'd better just go ahead and check your brain at the door.
I went to see the spectacle and wonder that is Snakes on a Plane
this afternoon. What can I say--after all the hype from various bloggers and podcasters these past few months, I just felt like I had to see it on the big screen.
And I came away going--well, that's two hours of my life and seven bucks I'll never have back.
Like I said--you have to just switch your brain off and go with this one. If you're looking for depth of storytelling and characters, you're not going to find it here. If you want to a bunch of random cliches get on a plane together and get killed by a plethora of deadly snakes, than this is the movie for you. Luckily, you get the feeling that the movie doesn't take itself too seriously. This isn't Hamlet
there poeple, but neither is it Plan Nine from Outer Space
. It is what it is--Samuel L. Jackson takes on a whole bunch of a deadly snakes on a plane.
I will say this--here are some things I learned from this movie...
- Never, ever have sex on a plane. First of all, the bathrooms are really cramped and second of all, if you're attacked by deadly snakes and are thrashing about because you're dying, the cabin crew will just assume you're really into it and not try to rescue you.
- If you want to have a great way to break the ice with cute stewardesses, witness a crime, have the FBI clear out all of first class except you and the agents escorting you to wherever to testify. This will cause her to feel for your plight, go to extra lengths to be sexy and she will kiss you and give you her phone number if you survive the experience.
- Never, ever wear a mumu on a plane.
- Don't accept the free leis before you get on a flight from Hawaii (and, yes, I know that the only time you get leis on flights is coming TO Hawaii...again, turn the brain off and go with it)
- If you are on a plane full of idiots and snakes, you want Samuel L. Jackson there cause...there ain't nothin' Samuel L. can't do.
- If you play enough flight sim games, you can totally land a 747 jet liner.
- In any crisis, the only doctor on the plane will be one of the first to die.
- Be careful using the restroom in an airplane becuase there might be a deadly snake in there that will attack and bite you in a very sensitive place...OK, I'm getting dizzy just thinking of that kind of pain.
- This one could apply to lots of movies and not just this one. If it's your last day on the job, don't EVER say out loud some derivation of this--"Boy, I sure hope nothing goes wrong today and I have a really easy last day..."
I came, I saw, I shook my head. Again, it's not a horrible movie. It' s a fun little thrill ride that if you don't take too seriously and expect NO connection with that funny thing called reality, you might really like.
Oh and if you don't like snakes, this is NOT the movie to try and cure those fears.
posted by Michael Hickerson at 8/19/2006 06:15:00 PM